Gurus, Ninjas and Other Biohazard Internet Materials

The internet is a full-frontal exposure. Especially for those that claim it is their business. Whether on Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn, tons of people boasting that they are a guru, “Da S%&t”. In some cases they really are, in others, they are just full of themselves of very young and full of… (you know what I mean).

It’s funny, cause in my mind most of the online success of a certain campaign, Facebook page or Twitter profile is very circumstantial and depending on a major team effort. I say “circumstantial”, cause if you don’t have a great product/service that people write and refer about online, the chance to outperform your competitors in the page rank field is limited. I also use “teamwork” cause everybody on the team should be on the same page and it is impossible to know everything about the company (especially, if you are an outside hired gun).

Anyways, here are my two cents on the dull names marketers pick for themselves and use them in their profiles:

  • Interactive Ninja – Ninjas are sneaky bastards that get hired to kill without being detected. Now, how could you be sneaky and seek conversation at the same time?
  • Social Media Guru – So, let me get this straight! You are the guy who sits in a Lotus position and thinks of engaging the user and selling more soda cans next quarter?
  • Search Engine Marketing Wizard – Unless you can prove that you can create magic and risk being ousted by the Vatican, don’t use this word in such a context!
  • Chief Kahuna – I kinda like this one, I must admit. But unless you are Hawaiian and a priest, you’d better stay away from it! It will be tough to pull it off, oh, and you need that small guitar. Not everybody can play it.
  • Social Media Super User – Oh, come on!
  • SEO Sorcerer – By the way, have you heard that search engines are paying more and more attention to social media links that actually keyword density? Put a spell on that!
  • Mobile Marketing Champion – Wow! Mobile has been happening since … 2007. Every January 1 since then is claimed the year of mobile. Not just yet, player. The year of mobile should happen first, for you to call yourself a champion.

So, here is a thought. Why don’t you get your portfolio together and real-life examples of your work and let the client or employer decide what they think of you? This way, you won’t suffer any embarrassment, should the matters go south.

Don’t forget to share the most appalling self-qualifications you have encountered online! I would love to read them.

Copyright © 2011 Borislav Kiprin. All Rights Reserved.